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one of those mysteries I will never solve

Oh, this feeling. It never seems to go away. The tingling sensation that consumes every nerve in my body. The ease of uneasiness deep in my gut. The tingles flow like a chilly wave over my body. My mind fluttered searching for the right words to say. My brain is racking my own brain. The thoughts are silly, happy, crazy...everywhere. Trouble is...it goes away...most of the time. Something inside tells me this time is different. I've said that before, I know. Thing is, I've never felt it this intense. I've never felt a connection this strong. I've never been so sure that the feeling is mutual. That the connection is mutual. That the intensity is mutual.

Tasting the rainbow simultaneously.

The effect of affection is almost breathtaking. He has affected my soul. I have done the same with his. Marks are being made.

Then Lucas haunts me...What is he? What are we? Why does he do this to me? Why am I so attracted to him? Am I willing to entertain the thought that this is one of those mysteries I will never solve? Just another one of life's unanswered questions?

Did I really just start twirling my hair? I can't remember the last time I did that unintentionally.

The chills return. The smile is genuine. I laugh at myself, because I know it's silly. But, I smile at myself because I know it's true.

I've fooled myself into knowing what I want more than once. So, when, how can I trust my feelings? I need to take this slow.....very...slow. I need to stay in tune with myself. With him. With his words. Not just his words, but the soul behind the words. The meaning and feeling behind the words and phrases.

I am in tune. I am.

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