Passion: Past Present And Future
Not sure of how it's happened
But forever grateful that it has
My persistent weary mind in dreams
Yet still I sit and sulk in sad
Daily life of this and that
Daily life the good and bad
My mindset now as it is
Soon will only haunt my past
Dreary days comfort my soul
Being alone is part of the whole
Debating choices of now and ahead
Pursuing the truth until I'm dead
Living out loud
and knowing the pain
Through these experiences
I've so much to gain
For knowing the pain
Will guide my future
In times of good
I'll remember times of truth
Pain is a curious thing
Is it real? the harsh and faint.
I feel that if I remember this pain of the world,
Then I will be able to harness it in the future and live a humble life because I know how pain feels.
I know how pain truly feels.
How it feels to to have everybody in the world willing to help you but you can't even help yourself.
How if feels to have nobody in the world when you're on top of the world.
How it feels to have your heart cut deep.
How it feels to be abandoned by your closest kin.
How it feels to be selfish and to be selfished upon.
But the worst pain in the the world is the pain of the world.
All I want is for the world to be in harmony, nirvana, ecstasy.
True love.
True passion
True willingness.
Willingness to give and receive in perfect exchange.
Willingness to give of material possessions and grow in consciousness.
I just want to be alone for a while.
I don't want anyone's fake feelings pushed upon me.
I want my feelings to be genuine and MINE.
I want to form my own opinions and form my own ways away from the world.
As I sat on the couch in a mindless act of writing, I couldn't help but dream of the future. This is my daily dream. My mind will wander off to a land afar. I dream of my name in lights. I dream of future generations studying my character and my works. I dream of my life making a difference. I dream of the day when I awake to find a purpose and keeping that purpose with vigor for my entire life. Mostly I dream of a culmination of days that make up the majority of the later three quarters of my life where I know beyond uncertainties that I am doing what is right. That I am doing what makes me whole. That I am doing what I was meant to do.
If there is anything at this point in my life that I am passionate about, it's being passionate about something. I've never been so passionate about anything in my life as I am about being passionate about something. I know this is my key. Passion is the key. I remember and cling to this lesson I was taught as a young girl floating aimlessly in the world without a care. Passion is where it's at. Passion is what will drive success. Success will come through dedication, which comes with passion. But what is that something? What is MY something?
There have been many times in life where I thought I had figured this out. I was passionate about going to school because I thought I would learn so much. So far, all I've learned is that I have no idea how to do this thing called school. I am learning much about dedication, and following through, and what it takes to accomplish goals. I mean after all, at the beginning of the year (2011) my goal was to attend school. Now I am here. But, the sad part is, now that I have it, I'm not sure I want it. Or at least I'm not sure I want it in the way I have chosen to take it by being on the path of astrophysicist. I love astronomy, and I love the idea behind physics, but now that I'm studying it, I'm not sure that I want to be one. However, I have found a passion of learning. But, only learning the things I find myself interested in. Also, with school I don't feel I need to be tested on subjects, because if I ever do forget or want to relearn something I always have the internet at my fingertips, and with this tool, the thing I had forgotten always comes right back like it never left in the first place.
So back to my something. I want it more than anything in the world. But learning how to get it isn't as simple as typing "How do I find my something to be passionate about?" into google. Believe me I have tried.
I've come to learn that life is a journey. My journey is finding my one thing to be passionate about for the rest of my life. I hope that I find it soon. I think I may have found it already, but with all of these thoughts rumpling around in my head like scrambled eggs, its hard to pick it out.
Maybe I should work on descrambling my brain and my mind and my thoughts. Although, I'm not quite sure how to do this either. But kindly having a place to begin, is a place to begin.
I embrace my future. I'm ready for it. But I wont let my sadness in present or my excitement of future or my remembrance of past get in the way of being happy in the present.
I am happy.
-------------------------------------
I wrote this some time in November of 2011. This is precisely why I like to keep everything that I write. Being able to read my past mind is extremely useful for my present. I believe I have found my passion. The extremity of passion rises and falls...And my passion has fallen many times. I am a queen of distracting my passion. I am queen of finding numerous passions. I am queen of heart and soul. I am my queen.
It's very fulfilling to be able to remember and put myself in a place of past. Reading this has helped me to understand better the place in life I reside. It has helped me to remember who I am and why I am that, and how much things change in so short of a time.
Now is not forever, but forever encompasses now. Forever encompasses every moment, all at once.
I am happy. I am sad. I am friendly. I am lonely. I am me. Every word I write is a part of me. Every word I write is a step along the journey.
I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, or even the next moment. But, I do know that I will accept my choices and my life for a greater future. One day I will look back and be enlightened again. For now, this moment is all I have. I love this moment, and I love this part of myself.
But forever grateful that it has
My persistent weary mind in dreams
Yet still I sit and sulk in sad
Daily life of this and that
Daily life the good and bad
My mindset now as it is
Soon will only haunt my past
Dreary days comfort my soul
Being alone is part of the whole
Debating choices of now and ahead
Pursuing the truth until I'm dead
Living out loud
and knowing the pain
Through these experiences
I've so much to gain
For knowing the pain
Will guide my future
In times of good
I'll remember times of truth
Pain is a curious thing
Is it real? the harsh and faint.
I feel that if I remember this pain of the world,
Then I will be able to harness it in the future and live a humble life because I know how pain feels.
I know how pain truly feels.
How it feels to to have everybody in the world willing to help you but you can't even help yourself.
How if feels to have nobody in the world when you're on top of the world.
How it feels to have your heart cut deep.
How it feels to be abandoned by your closest kin.
How it feels to be selfish and to be selfished upon.
But the worst pain in the the world is the pain of the world.
All I want is for the world to be in harmony, nirvana, ecstasy.
True love.
True passion
True willingness.
Willingness to give and receive in perfect exchange.
Willingness to give of material possessions and grow in consciousness.
I just want to be alone for a while.
I don't want anyone's fake feelings pushed upon me.
I want my feelings to be genuine and MINE.
I want to form my own opinions and form my own ways away from the world.
As I sat on the couch in a mindless act of writing, I couldn't help but dream of the future. This is my daily dream. My mind will wander off to a land afar. I dream of my name in lights. I dream of future generations studying my character and my works. I dream of my life making a difference. I dream of the day when I awake to find a purpose and keeping that purpose with vigor for my entire life. Mostly I dream of a culmination of days that make up the majority of the later three quarters of my life where I know beyond uncertainties that I am doing what is right. That I am doing what makes me whole. That I am doing what I was meant to do.
If there is anything at this point in my life that I am passionate about, it's being passionate about something. I've never been so passionate about anything in my life as I am about being passionate about something. I know this is my key. Passion is the key. I remember and cling to this lesson I was taught as a young girl floating aimlessly in the world without a care. Passion is where it's at. Passion is what will drive success. Success will come through dedication, which comes with passion. But what is that something? What is MY something?
There have been many times in life where I thought I had figured this out. I was passionate about going to school because I thought I would learn so much. So far, all I've learned is that I have no idea how to do this thing called school. I am learning much about dedication, and following through, and what it takes to accomplish goals. I mean after all, at the beginning of the year (2011) my goal was to attend school. Now I am here. But, the sad part is, now that I have it, I'm not sure I want it. Or at least I'm not sure I want it in the way I have chosen to take it by being on the path of astrophysicist. I love astronomy, and I love the idea behind physics, but now that I'm studying it, I'm not sure that I want to be one. However, I have found a passion of learning. But, only learning the things I find myself interested in. Also, with school I don't feel I need to be tested on subjects, because if I ever do forget or want to relearn something I always have the internet at my fingertips, and with this tool, the thing I had forgotten always comes right back like it never left in the first place.
So back to my something. I want it more than anything in the world. But learning how to get it isn't as simple as typing "How do I find my something to be passionate about?" into google. Believe me I have tried.
I've come to learn that life is a journey. My journey is finding my one thing to be passionate about for the rest of my life. I hope that I find it soon. I think I may have found it already, but with all of these thoughts rumpling around in my head like scrambled eggs, its hard to pick it out.
Maybe I should work on descrambling my brain and my mind and my thoughts. Although, I'm not quite sure how to do this either. But kindly having a place to begin, is a place to begin.
I embrace my future. I'm ready for it. But I wont let my sadness in present or my excitement of future or my remembrance of past get in the way of being happy in the present.
I am happy.
-------------------------------------
I wrote this some time in November of 2011. This is precisely why I like to keep everything that I write. Being able to read my past mind is extremely useful for my present. I believe I have found my passion. The extremity of passion rises and falls...And my passion has fallen many times. I am a queen of distracting my passion. I am queen of finding numerous passions. I am queen of heart and soul. I am my queen.
It's very fulfilling to be able to remember and put myself in a place of past. Reading this has helped me to understand better the place in life I reside. It has helped me to remember who I am and why I am that, and how much things change in so short of a time.
Now is not forever, but forever encompasses now. Forever encompasses every moment, all at once.
I am happy. I am sad. I am friendly. I am lonely. I am me. Every word I write is a part of me. Every word I write is a step along the journey.
I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, or even the next moment. But, I do know that I will accept my choices and my life for a greater future. One day I will look back and be enlightened again. For now, this moment is all I have. I love this moment, and I love this part of myself.
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