Holding Back

If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time.
- Janis Joplin

I get it, holding back.
I live held back.
   And for what?
     Why?
More questions...
When I hold back I know I'm doing it
   Sometimes I don't want to be
     Other times I really don't care
Usually because of an altered state.
It feels better to not think so much.
I think so much.
 Analyze
  Deconstruct
   Daydream
My mind knows a constant state.
But
When it's freed...
 When I'm able to just do...
Those times are stellar.


I want to make a conscious decision to bring more of those times into my life.