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Passion: Past Present And Future

Not sure of how it's happened But forever grateful that it has My persistent weary mind in dreams Yet still I sit and sulk in sad Daily life of this and that Daily life the good and bad My mindset now as it is Soon will only haunt my past Dreary days comfort my soul Being alone is part of the whole Debating choices of now and ahead Pursuing the truth until I'm dead Living out loud and knowing the pain Through these experiences I've so much to gain   For knowing the pain Will guide my future In times of good I'll remember times of truth Pain is a curious thing Is it real? the har sh and faint. I feel that if I remember this pain of the world, Then I will be able to harness it in the future and live a humble life because I know how pain feels. I know how pain truly feels. How it feels to to have everybody in the world willing to help you but you can't even help yourself. How if feels to have nobody in the world when you're on top of the world...

Reminiscing Myself

What is even more disturbing than being in a room with blank walls. A light emanating from an unknown source. Staring in the corner of the room you see a fire detector plastered to the ceiling. It's shaded in whites. The trim is the brightest, the most absorbent of all colors, Roman style. Or, at least it seemed to have a Roman aura to it. Alone. What's worse than this? It's having somebody else there with you, telling you how bad it is. I'm not well acquainted with surface meanings. Putting together a story for what it is. I never fail to get lost in deeper meanings. This must be why everything means something more. Every little, seemingly insignificant detail, most people are too consumed to notice, I notice. I understand it for myself. I relate it to my life so that it has deeper and greater of a meaning. This is why everything means something. Santa should be out tonight. He's got quite the job in these days, what with our population exponentially growing. T...

Holding Back

If I hold back, I'm no good. I'm no good. I'd rather be good sometimes, than holding back all the time. - Janis Joplin I get it, holding back. I live held back.    And for what?      Why? More questions... When I hold back I know I'm doing it    Sometimes I don't want to be      Other times I really don't care Usually because of an altered state. It feels better to not think so much. I think so much.  Analyze   Deconstruct    Daydream My mind knows a constant state. But When it's freed...  When I'm able to just do... Those times are stellar. I want to make a conscious decision to bring more of those times into my life.

My, Me, Mine.

My voice - In progress My style - Dreamy My views - Debatable My life - A work of art My thoughts - A beautiful paradox My space - Stellar My trust - Pending My love - Everlasting My time - An enigma My family - Precious My paradise - Life My body - Matter My mind - A tool My knowledge - Growing My habits - Forming My subconscious - My friend My friends - My connection to the world My world - Is your world My word - Trustworthy My soul - Antique My speech - Dreams of eloquency My dreams - Speak truth My future - Impacts all of you My present - A gift My past - Valuable My expectation - Faith in good My moment - Life My good - People My bad - People All of me that my mind can see is mine. It's my gift to you.

one of those mysteries I will never solve

Oh, this feeling. It never seems to go away. The tingling sensation that consumes every nerve in my body. The ease of uneasiness deep in my gut. The tingles flow like a chilly wave over my body. My mind fluttered searching for the right words to say. My brain is racking my own brain. The thoughts are silly, happy, crazy...everywhere. Trouble is...it goes away...most of the time. Something inside tells me this time is different. I've said that before, I know. Thing is, I've never felt it this intense. I've never felt a connection this strong. I've never been so sure that the feeling is mutual. That the connection is mutual. That the intensity is mutual. Tasting the rainbow simultaneously. The effect of affection is almost breathtaking. He has affected my soul. I have done the same with his. Marks are being made. Then Lucas haunts me...What is he? What are we? Why does he do this to me? Why am I so attracted to him? Am I willing to entertain the thought that this is...

The Good In You

People amaze me Every day In the utmost Extraordinary ways A world I once Thought was lost Now brightens my day And livens my thoughts I truly do Have faith that you Posess the courage And gratitude To change the world Be someone you want With benevolent intentions Contained in your thought Now let it out You're free to roam As you spread good Seeds are being sewn A seed so small Is all it takes To change the world Into a better place Can you see If I believe A world so true From the good in you?

I Hope You Can Understand.

I will not allow you to get to me. I'm stronger than that. You want a rise, but you won't get what you want. You don't deserve it. What you do deserve is whatever you deserve. It's not for me to determine. That's for you to decide. But, don't be mad at me, When I can't or won't give it to you. It's not my place. I had a place in your life that meant much more than the place I currently reside. You destroyed that place. You think you know everything. You think you know how I think. Jack shit. You don't know shit. I don't know shit. The things I've hidden. The simple details that could completely alter your perspective. They're mine. You'll never find them. They aren't written down. They aren't written in code. They are no where, but in my mind. And you don't have access. I'm sorry you feel hurt, or mad, or sad... Or whatever the hell you feel. But you must realize that your feelings are your o...

Publishing And Marketing Update

I now have 6 poems published ! Click here to view my Yahoo contributor page which has all 6 of them located together. So far, they have accepted every poem I have submitted. I'm not sure what that says, either way, it excites my pants off :) I'm taking a break sending them in. I'd like to continue marketing, and reaching out. I want to get a grasp on the best ways to go about this, so that in the future, I will be able to better promote them one at a time. I very much enjoy feedback, of any sort. With that said, please please please comment and share your thoughts. It means the world to me....Shit, it means the world to me simply by you reading this or anything I write. Sharing my thoughts through my writing has been a crucial development tool for me to grow as a person. Whether you read or not, I will continue to write, and follow my dream. I want to write I need to write The words are in my soul. I live to write I breathe to write It's what can make me whole. T...

Infinity - Eights Are Sideways

Stream of consciousness is all I know. Perpetual growth, perpetual growth. An overflow, above my soul, is what I know, what I know. Okay, I'm here, Okay I'm here. Repeating every line, every time. What do I know? Nothing! Okay? Nothing! I say. Keep away. Okay kay kay? My mind is going, it's always flowing. I can't control the things I know...But, wait I think I can. It's not safe, not safe to make a plan. It's not safe, like the Happening. To go outside and greet the trees. But, I love them so, I hope you know. Right now is all I know. Right now, all I am is growth, growth, growth. Hear me when I say, hear me every day. Hear my fucking brain. Here we are to stay. Learn Learn Learn! Know Know Know! Do it, Do it now, and Do it, Do it slow. I have given out my thoughts. In thoughts of unrequited love. But, love myself  more, for that than any other bug I love. I'm keeping to write and I'm keeping it tight. Flowing words outside of my brain, ...

A Lament Of Knowledge

I just want to remember  Not to forget I just want to tick Just like a fucking bomb Just Just Just Tick all the dicks! I'm cut out I'm not cut out I'm cut up It's a cut up This is a cut up of mind time I want to cut my mind... Open  And dump  Shake up all knowledge Fumble through Pull out repressed memories Remember them again So I can pull away from this treacherous spiral of thoughts I've trapped myself in But like Catholics pull out their dicks It never works Maybe if I could shake my brain I might have something more to say Maybe if I could remember More than I've forgotten Maybe I might feel free Free to be the forgotten me It's hard to be the person you forget about It's hard to remember I'm an oppressor of my emotions Because of the secret Try to think only good But nobody can relate with that If they could The world would be a better place So maybe I'll just begin to speak of  The things I hate Speak of the reasons I...

I'm Published!

I've been sending in poems to Yahoo Voices, and today I had my second poem published! I am also getting paid for views. So, for every ten views I get a penny! Yay! Anyway, here are the links. Click on them as much as you'd like. The more views the more pennies :) Control Is Lost, Control Is Gained http://voices.yahoo.com/control-lost-control-gained-poem-11266050.html?cat=42 Smelling Memories http://voices.yahoo.com/smelling-memories-11213894.html?cat=42 Also, stay tuned! I'll be sending in many more! Thanks for taking the time to help me and view my poems. Every view I receive on this blog lights up my day! Seriously, it means the world that you even take the time to read them. And remember, not only are comments welcome, but they are encouraged! I love feedback, good or bad, criticism or praise. Keep reading and I'll keep writing...Well, I'll keep writing anyway :) With all the love within me, Brandy