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Becoming

I am a woman.
I am worthy.
I am enough.

I deserve love.
I deserve happiness.
I deserve to be wanted.

I deserve nothing short of greatness.
Of beauty.
Of an extravagant life full of extraordinary people.

This world is amazing.
Life is amazing.
Everything is beautiful.
I'm sorry I lost sight of that.

I am happily unhappy.

There is nothing more I want and nothing more I need.
I have everything.
My choices lead to consequences of a better life.
A wealthier life.
A happier life.
I am the most amazing wonderful fantastic version of myself that I can be and each day, each moment is better than the previous.

This is not a poem.
This is not an essay.
This is not a blog.
This is not a ploy.
This is not a message.
This is not an excuse.

This is simply an amazing woman rediscovering her beauty within.
A girl becoming a lady.
An adolescent becoming a woman.
A discovery.
An adventure.
A journey.
A life.
My life.
My everything.

Thank you for reading.
Thank you for following.
Thank you for allowing me to be myself,
Find myself,
Know myself,
Love myself.
Thank you for your time,
Effort,
Words,
Friendship,
And perspective.

This is a woman remembering to not fall so easily into a vision that is not her own.
This is a woman learning to understand the perspective without adhering to it.
This is a woman discovering the world and life in all of their glory.

This is you.
This is me.
We're all in this together.
This is growth.
This is all I need.

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Powerless Life, Powerless Night

I have never really understood will power. I understand boredom. I think it's a waste of time to think about how boring your imagination is. You're so dull, you can't entertain yourself, but I get it. I've had will power, and I like to think that once you've experienced something, it increases your knowledge of said something. But when I weigh out the benefits of telling yourself what you want, and then sticking to it, it falls short on the scale next to living in the moment. Making crazy, off the wall, out of the blue, stupid decisions is part of being human, it's part of the human experience. I can't understand why people don't want to make bad decisions. It was one of "those days." The kind of emotional girl roller coaster days you'd see in a rom com where the girl is taking turns comforting herself in greasy french fries and Tom Hanks' love stories with whatever her name is with the orgasms, except there were drugs, and it wa...