A Bit Of Your Time For A Bit Of My Mind
Sometimes, I want to share. To no one in particular. To no one really. To anyone that doesn't pretend to care.
The happiest moment of my day...so far...came by way of this song.
Smoke Rings
On an annoying note, there are gnats, EVERYWHERE. During the day, 12-4, they're at their peak! I sit, stand, walk around clapping and clapping, trying to murder them. They buzz by my face, two, three at a time. Occasionally, I see them fucking, mid air. Just flying around...fucking. Those are my favorite to kill, resentment maybe? Seriously though, they are pesky.
I don't understand my genuine interest to share with someone. It bothers me when people sit around trading complaints. It makes nobody's day better. I try to keep most of my complaints to myself, I'm going to try harder. I need a conversation tactic, something to talk about that everyone will know and want to talk about as well. I think that leaning more toward the comical side of the spectrum would be beneficial. I think about doing this kind of thing, but I never really follow through unless by accident or coincidence (two nouns I'm very interested in).
It's 1 PM (I wish time didn't matter so much) and I'm still in my underwear and the t-shirt I slept in. I woke up ten til noon, immediately packed a bowl, listened to K.Flay, and thought of ways I could make this day better than the previous. I haven't spoken to much of anyone lately, by choice. Blah obligation. Blah motivation. I have none except to drink, smoke, and write. Coffee, wine, cigarettes, weed, words I think, say, read, hear...music.
I'm paranoid that someone will walk in on me in my underwear. So many people are always coming and going at my house, anyone could walk up to the back door. Which wouldn't be too bad except that I'm sitting three feet away from a door that is mostly glass, looking far from presentable. And just like that, it happens. I have visitors...coincidence? Who cares? Situation handled.
:takes much needed shower:
I write to lift burdens I've placed upon myself. I don't need advice, I'm self advisory. I need perceptions. I need the bouncing back and forth of ideas. I need to be in an environment free from judgement. I need acceptance in the way I give it. I need mutual understanding. I need pure speech, no filters, no holding back. This is what I give to myself, through writing. This is what I give to you, through writing. Unadulterated, raw thoughts, or at least pieces of them. I need an improved way to socialize.
My mind is starting to shift gears again. It's been a much less than pleasurable experience. Nonetheless, it's happening and this is what I wanted. I've done this before. I got this...I think...for now.
Cheers to smoke. Cheers to gnats. Cheers to sitting around in underwear. Cheers to sharing. Cheers to writing. Cheers to life. Cheers to you.
Thanks for your time. I hope it was worth it.
The happiest moment of my day...so far...came by way of this song.
Smoke Rings
On an annoying note, there are gnats, EVERYWHERE. During the day, 12-4, they're at their peak! I sit, stand, walk around clapping and clapping, trying to murder them. They buzz by my face, two, three at a time. Occasionally, I see them fucking, mid air. Just flying around...fucking. Those are my favorite to kill, resentment maybe? Seriously though, they are pesky.
I don't understand my genuine interest to share with someone. It bothers me when people sit around trading complaints. It makes nobody's day better. I try to keep most of my complaints to myself, I'm going to try harder. I need a conversation tactic, something to talk about that everyone will know and want to talk about as well. I think that leaning more toward the comical side of the spectrum would be beneficial. I think about doing this kind of thing, but I never really follow through unless by accident or coincidence (two nouns I'm very interested in).
It's 1 PM (I wish time didn't matter so much) and I'm still in my underwear and the t-shirt I slept in. I woke up ten til noon, immediately packed a bowl, listened to K.Flay, and thought of ways I could make this day better than the previous. I haven't spoken to much of anyone lately, by choice. Blah obligation. Blah motivation. I have none except to drink, smoke, and write. Coffee, wine, cigarettes, weed, words I think, say, read, hear...music.
I'm paranoid that someone will walk in on me in my underwear. So many people are always coming and going at my house, anyone could walk up to the back door. Which wouldn't be too bad except that I'm sitting three feet away from a door that is mostly glass, looking far from presentable. And just like that, it happens. I have visitors...coincidence? Who cares? Situation handled.
:takes much needed shower:
I write to lift burdens I've placed upon myself. I don't need advice, I'm self advisory. I need perceptions. I need the bouncing back and forth of ideas. I need to be in an environment free from judgement. I need acceptance in the way I give it. I need mutual understanding. I need pure speech, no filters, no holding back. This is what I give to myself, through writing. This is what I give to you, through writing. Unadulterated, raw thoughts, or at least pieces of them. I need an improved way to socialize.
My mind is starting to shift gears again. It's been a much less than pleasurable experience. Nonetheless, it's happening and this is what I wanted. I've done this before. I got this...I think...for now.
Cheers to smoke. Cheers to gnats. Cheers to sitting around in underwear. Cheers to sharing. Cheers to writing. Cheers to life. Cheers to you.
Thanks for your time. I hope it was worth it.
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