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 im scared of what i see when i close my eyes

and im scared of what i see when theyre left open

the images we surround ourselves with become the images we cant escape

cant erase

cant relive if only to face

the nightmares on wax

the nightmares of tax

the nightmares of him with his eyes rolled back

the love i see

the remedies i know

the atrocities i see

 the movements that glow

the care-taken

the deceased the ones that live away from me

the crawling

the obsessed the ruins of the distress

you lied to me

you verified the truths with the solidity of my soul

the outrageous knowings that haunt my mind

and the shadows of our lives

the gracious gratitude

and subtle solitude

ive faced in all my years

cant begin to show the atrocities subdued within you

you didn't give me a chance to love you

you took me for advantage

you took the words and screwed the heartaches

the words are coming too fast okay

give me a break

i cant think

i cant move on

i cant stay

and i cant go on

i cant look at you

i dont know who you are

but i guess thats the best part

the part that keeps me coming back

youve stolen my moon

and replaced it with the cornerstones of the craters of the subjective solitudes of the heartaches i couldnt live without and created doubt

in me

outside of me

through me

over me

broken me 

but this is the spot

this is the spot where all of this is born

my eyes despise me

they wont allow me to see what needs to be seen

you have no idea what it takes

to be me

born and raised 

political games

again

agane

completely sober

stoned sober

ripped away from every thing i enjoy

because my eyes forsake me

my mind yearns for the platform

for the zone it lives in to be fulfilled and fortified

boundless boundaries take over the subtle tides

you were mine

my eyes told me so

but my mind always knew

thats where all of my pain has been hiding

stuck between the molecules of my broken corneas

my deep light blue grays disguised as green

they saw you and something resounded

something familiar

you didnt even have to try

i didn't even allow you to try

i never asked you to try

i never needed you to try

i was blind

you took it for granted

you took advantage

you took the sides of the scales and shook it all upside down not bothering to care only bothering to be cared for

you stole my life

how

why

who let you

who gave you permission

why should i have to guard myself

why and how did i stay so guarded and still get taken advantage of

how

how did you do it

who gave the rights to the soul i thought i controlled

i was foolish to ever think i was in control

i was a monster

self righteous

so much so

that i lost my soul

you had no right

you had every right

you were right

eating my souls weight in cakes and candy and the savory tides of the night

the ships hold true

the tides always turn

we barrel through

and overcome

what is to be found for me

what is to be lied

why cant i see until its too late

why cant my mind abide my eyes

the power corrupted me because i thought i had something to prove

but it was only a taste of whats to come

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