Brandy Danielle Nicholson

I’m marking the days off day by day waiting for those two that give me the time I need to be me only to sink into the oblivion of a distant sea. Drowning.  They’re acclimating me. I’m becoming a cog in their wheel. They’re training me to be an arm of their law lost in the machine. Grinding away my bones and blood for my body and mind to fit in. To succumb. To their will. Their desires. Everything is a question. Nothing is an action. There is no free will. There is only their will. And me? I’m someone else. I’m still her. Buried beneath the sea of infinite turmoil. Laid to rest in the forgotten oblivion of time and stars and faded away to dust. I am dust. I am not her. I am not special. I’m them. I’m they. I’m what they want me to be. I’m the fire that lights when the lighter is struck and never burns down a forest. But I am the fire. They try to contain me. They try to tame me. They try to box me into a tiny little package that pleases them. And I’ve spent so much time learning to ...

im scared of what i see when i close my eyes and im scared of what i see when theyre left open the images we surround ourselves with become the images we cant escape cant erase cant relive if only to face the nightmares on wax the nightmares of tax the nightmares of him with his eyes rolled back the love i see the remedies i know the atrocities i see  the movements that glow the care-taken the deceased the ones that live away from me the crawling the obsessed the ruins of the distress you lied to me you verified the truths with the solidity of my soul the outrageous knowings that haunt my mind and the shadows of our lives the gracious gratitude and subtle solitude ive faced in all my years cant begin to show the atrocities subdued within you you didn't give me a chance to love you you took me for advantage you took the words and screwed the heartaches the words are coming too fast okay give me a break i cant think i cant move on i cant stay and i cant go on i cant look at you i don...